Release

Last night my lovely husband surprised me with one of those lanterns that lit up the night sky on the 4th of July.  I thought it was an odd surprise until he explained what it was for.  He said to me it was to release all our bad luck from the previous year and a half.  Immediately, my eyes were full of tears.  What a thoughtful gift straight from his heart.  I wanted to share pictures of the release.

As we watched the lantern sail away it was like a peace had overcome me.  Saying goodbye to all the heartache, sadness, and anger.  I am hoping I can continue to feel this way and that the bad luck truly is away from us.  I have been full of a lot of worry and nervousness, but after lastnight that calm feeling washed through my body.  A husband always knows how to make things better!

Surprise...

I was blessed with the best Birthday present ever.  I had told myself I was changing things come year 28 of my life.  I was going to find happiness, forgiveness, and peace.  I tinted the picture into a rainbow, because I'm hoping this is our "Rainbow Baby."

A rainbow baby is the term used to describe a child conceived after the loss of another. We call our babies this understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds

I am trying to find a way to relax and not worry myself.  After 3 losses, it is beyond difficult though.  I don't know if I'll ever feel like we are in a "safe" zone with any of our pregnancies.  A part of me wants to shout it from the rooftops, another part of me wants to crawl in to bubble wrap and hide and protect this little life inside of me.   I pray this little life is one that grows and we get to hold in our arms and raise.