Tear Soup

Iam so thankful for wonderful women I have met across the country via an online support group for women who are trying to conceive and those who have suffered loss.  These women are my rocks.  They never judge, never question my thoughts or actions, and they are there for me no matter the hour.  I probably don't tell them enough how much they mean to me, but these women are some of best friends, no matter the miles or differences.

One of these friends, sent me a book entitled "Tear Soup," by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen.

Tear Soup, a recipe for healing after loss is a family story book that centers around an old and somewhat wise woman, Grandy.  Grandy has just suffered a big loss in her life and so she is headed to the kitchen to make a special batch of Tear Soup. To season her soup Grandy adds memories like the good times and the bad times, the silly and the sad times. She does not want to forget even one precious memory of her loss.

As I read the story, it reminded me that everyone grieves their own way and no one can tell you exactly how to heal.  I believe I have many people who care for me, however they don't understand what I am going through.  I think many just want me better and try to rush my healing.  Unfortunately, that only leaves me with scorched Tear Soup, that is boiling over in a mess.  I wanted to share my recipe for my Tear Soup.   Each recipe, just like grieving cannot be rushed by impatience.  

My Tear Soup Ingredients:

Weeks of bitter, salty, and sweet tears

Happiness of our first born child

Nervousness of will this pregnancy stick?

Fear of the unknown

Fear of loss

Tears of Happiness

Tears of Sadness

Hurtful comments

Hurtful actions

Physical pain

Family

Sad songs

Roses from dear friends

Anger

Feelings of an inadequate mother

HCG and Progesterone levels

Nightmares 

Smiles of knowing a secret

Friends

Excitement of announcing the good news

Dread of waiting for results

Thoughtful words and actions from those I love

Relief

Regret

Hope

More tears

Prayers 

Thoughts of what is wrong with me?

Pregnancy tests

Dr. appointments

Bitterness

Sadness

Love

Isolation

Faith

Thoughts of how will I survive?

2 previous miscarriages

If you know someone who is going through a loss (no matter what it is) I strongly encourage you to give them this book.  You may not have the words to make them feel better, but this book just may help them on their difficult journey.  I would like to especially thank "Pez" for sending me this.  Love you!