Tomorrow I will be tested to see if my eggs have any chromosome abnormalities. I am very nervous and fearful that this test will show something terrible. Something so terrible that maybe we won't be able to have a healthy child. I have been trying to avoid this, however, after another failed cycle, I must go forth.
It takes around 2 weeks for the results. This may be one of the worst waits throughout this whole journey. How do you prepare yourself for this, or for the results? I can't help but prepare myself for the worst. I think that is something I've been doing for the past year and a half. I always prepare myself for the worst and have little to no expectations because of what could be. Unfortunately, it feels that 9 times out of 10 I end up with the worst possible situation. It's hard living life this way.
I wonder how many other people on this earth live life this way. It's depressing just to think about. When will these fears subside and I can turn away from the worst case scenario? I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. If you are the praying type, I ask for prayers of peace and comfort and the same for others going through this journey or other difficult journeys. As one friend has said to me, "life should not be this difficult."
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